I was just reading through an old journal earlier this morning and came across some thoughts in response to the Apostle John's poetic pronouncement of truth (it's not quite hymn/poem nor quite benediction/blessing) in 1 John 2:12-14. Here are the first two poetic pronouncements of truth:
I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake, I am writing to you, fathers, because you have known him from the beginning.
Fathers, consistently confront your children with the life-altering forgiveness of Jesus - because children have a unique ability to utterly self-forget and focus outward when first awestruck. What happens then at being awestruck? They are able to learn about Jesus without the jaded cynicism, without the colored past that colors our view of Jesus and what we like best about him, without the pressures of adult life that aims to get what we wish to get out of Jesus. When they discern and acknowledge the "Big No" in their own hearts called sin and make the connection to Jesus the Rescuer - they camp out on that bridge! It becomes all about "his name's sake" and there is no other season like this in their lives.
Earlier this week, we had a night of hockey practice (yes, in the Cayman Islands...lots of wonderful Canadians live here and have brought their beloved hockey!!) and two different elementary school open houses to attend. Juggling the boys on my own at the hockey rink, I came across a decision Katie had made that didn't immediately "sit well" with me. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and, while I didn't say anything, the boys detected that I was visibly upset. In between a little chaos here and there, Katie engaged in her own talk with God in the car and humbly apologized to me, which she didn't need to but her example deeply softened my heart. She proceeded to join her own open house where she is an Art Teacher while I set out on my own to engage our boys with our nightly family worship. We talked about the difference Jesus' forgiveness makes. I asked if they recognized Dad's anger earlier in the day: "Uh, yeah, your face told the story" said Mason. I had opportunity to share with them how their Mom responded: Humbly having already sought out and experienced God's forgiveness - and how her example impacted Dad. They both responded with smiles and snuggles (10 & 7 year old boys - getting increasingly rare) and with awe: "Man, Jesus can really do that, can't he?!" The forgiveness of Jesus breaking into real life absolutely captivated them such that we then had opportunity to talk more about instances in the gospels where Jesus humbly extends forgiveness and its softening impact on those who experienced it.
Fathers, remember you can know the One who has been a Father from the beginning. You feel the pressures of caring for a family. Thinking about what you are imparting to them, how to say it/impart it, their education now, their education years from now, balancing time in the office and your travel schedule with time at home. Furthermore, your responsibility for others, as a kind of father-figure, may extend outward over those in a small business, or providing direction for those who care for others. There is One who has been a Father from the beginning, who has cared for every need and been faithful to every promise for generations. He's had to stomach hard decisions: Kicking Adam & Eve out of the Garden; starting over through Noah; keeping Moses from the promised land, withholding the temple building project from David who dreamed it, and not taking from Jesus the bitterest cup of just wrath -- and all the ones in between both in the Bible and since. All along He's watched each decision profit the person, His people, and His name. He knows. Learn from Him, stay near to Him.
I love you, fathers. God is using you! Keep fighting the good fight as you hold out to your kids the forgiveness of Jesus and hold fast to the faithful Father of every generation.
I admit I'm partial to movies about boys growing up in the American South. In part, because it constituted most of my upbringing before my big 90210 move to Southern California that made me the pre-madonna I am today.
The movie Mud (2013, PG-13, 130 mins, now out on DVD and stars Matthew McConaughey and Reese Witherspoon) is such a movie based in the American South and explores the ability of men to continue to hope in enduring love versus the alternative of hardening to it. Here's a fuller review and summary from a Christian point-of-view, I just want to mention 3 things that make this movie worth taking in - especially if you are a man and even more especially if you are a man with boys who are 13+. It is PG-13 so that should be fair warning about violence, language, etc.
1. Rural men who are not characterized by being tough & grizzled. This doesn't mean the four key men in the story (Mud, the boy, the father, the sniper) aren't these qualities to some extent - but it's not what characterizes them. In fact, writer/director Jeff Nichols does a brilliant job of characterizing these men primarily by love or, at least, their hope in love without making it come across as effeminate in the eyes of the typical male viewer. This is very refreshing and provides a visual, albeit imperfect (this is still Hollywood), for men in their 20s and 30s as well as boys for the expression of a robust and masculine love.
2. Rural people who are not characterized by the hypocrisy or emptiness of religion/the church. Every line of Psalm 136 includes the refrain: "His steadfast love endures forever." This movie explores whether or not men can believe this even though their is no meaningful mention of "God" in the film (with the exception of one brutal man who asks his henchmen to pray for the death of man who killed his boy - but he's set apart by Nichols so explicitly as anti-God that his request is almost comical and not a significant commentary on rural religion). But the absence of a meaningful God-mention is refreshing - and I know it sounds strange for a pastor to say this. However, in these movies Southern and rural religion tends to have a role - and that role is typically destructive. Nichols avoids it altogether allowing the symbolism at the movie's final scene to stand out and can cause one to think on God's enduring love without us having to wonder: "Oh yeah, but remember from the earlier church/preacher scene that the writer/director is anti-church, anti-religion, anti-God."
3. The final scene. Disclaimer: I won't give away anything of the plot in saying this. The movie makes a bold statement that despite years of heartache and disappointment with love, men can still hope that they are loved and have the ability to love. Men can be more than just responsible and hardworking as their highest potential. How? Through the large and small sacrifices of others and the sacrifice a man makes in response. Such that the movie ends how it does - with hope and a sunrise all brought about by sacrifice. All of which should remind us of THE Man who sacrificed it all that we might forever know we are loved.
Give it a watch. Would love to hear what you think.
Below I've posted a concise and helpful sermon by P.J. Smyth (lead pastor of Godfirst church in Johannesburg, South Africa) about the Porn epidemic that is still running wild amongst Christians - and not just amongst men by the way. A couple summers ago I was speaking with a man who started and runs one of the largest Christian-based rehab centers for addicts of various kinds. He said the most surprising trend that no one knows about is that the majority of addicts amongst 18-22 y. olds are women and not men. I was floored by this revelation. Smyth addresses, in part, why this is the case.
Here are some of the quotes from the message that impacted me:
- "Every second, $3000 are spent on porn."
- "Porn is like trying to find out about a Beethoven symphony by listening to someone grunt a few bars."
- "Porn girls never say 'No.' So that imagery ruins proper relationships."
- "To Adam, Eve was perfect. She was his standard of beauty. Porn cuts that."
- "Sex in marriage is so important that the devil does everything to get us into bed before we are married and keep us out of bed when we are."
- "About 60% of the power of sin dissipates the moment you confess it to someone else."
- "The gospel and marriage teach us that I am way worse than I thought and way more loved than I thought."
- "Be a Churchill, not a Chamberlin."
- "Spending time in God's presence is one of the most underrated ways to deal with sin."
This Saturday we're having our first ever churchwide Men's Breakfast. So I'm making it a goal this week to post a few thoughts each day regarding issues and biblical insight surrounding being a dude and exercising one's dude-ishness. Of course, it's already Wednesday and there's a good chance this will be my last post...oh well.
I was talking today with a member of our congregation who is also on the police force. We talked about the absence of husbands and fathers in Cayman. I wondered out loud:
Isn't it strange that most women fear yielding leadership to men and most men fear taking it on (and are more than happy to give it up).
As a husband and then, by association, a father the admonition is clear about the form that leadership is to take and why it's so scary:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).
Be honest guys: Was the scary part just then the vague spiritual responsibility or realizing Jesus while he lived in real flesh & in real time did everything to the point of death for the sake of the church (and then applying that to our marriages)?
John Benton calls men to be self-sacrificial initiative-takers in his helpful little book Gender Questions (and, No, as at least one of you has asked before the book is not for those questioning which gender they are...there are shorter & simpler illustrated books for that):
The word initiative could be linked to the word leadership. But I am unhappy about that word in some respects because it has become so debased by modern ideas of managers who 'sit up there and make decisions' and have nothing to do with what is happening 'on the ground'...Biblical leadership is more to do with the idea of a pioneer -- a person who says, "I go first, to take the risks, to make the way safe for others, to take the knocks."
Men, I suggest if we would make every effort, by the grace of God and clinging to Christ as both our help & our example, to be this type of leader, the women in our lives might be a little less afraid of yielding leadership and considerably more grateful that we are living out who we said we'd be when we uttered those wedding vows.
I'm excited that the first weekend of Dec (Dec 2-3) Sunrise Community Church will be hosting a Marriage Conference from FamilyLife Ministries called "The Art of Marriage."
In preparation for this, I came across this wonderful resource from author & relationship guru, Dennis Rainey. It's called Stepping Up: The Call to Courageous Manhood.
In this book, Rainey examines the five stages of every man's life and the God-given opportunity as well as responsibility of each stage. I read the first few chapters already and it is outstanding. If you know a man & especially if this man owns a Kindle, iPad, or reads eBooks - consider getting him this book (a cheap Birthday present??) or send him the link to this post. See the trailer below for a better idea of what to expect.
Best part: The eBook version is only $2 through Oct 15. Here's the LINK.
If you don't have an iPad or Kindle, here are links to some free eBook software to read the book on your laptop. Microsoft Reader and also Stanza Desktop for Mac.
Posts
