Rearranging Homes for the Gospel

The Holy Spirit piqued my heart this morning to give thanks for a particular people...(Warning: This is not a Pro-"House Church Movement" post).



As I was finishing Paul's first letter to the Corinthian church this morning, I tried not to breeze past the "Final Greetings" so I might catch my Pop Tart while it was still warm but not yet burnt. So I read:

The churches of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Prisca, together with the church in their house, send you hearty greetings in the Lord (I Corinthians 16:19; cf. Romans 16:3-5).

Rearranging Homes: A brief history. I then caught a quick note in some I Corinthians study material that claimed there exists extensive archeological evidence from many different cities demonstrating that some homes were structurally modified to host such churches. My Pop Tart now charred and beyond recovery, I researched a bit deeper: The best piece of archeological evidence is at the edge of the 3rd century Roman world at a garrison town on the banks of the Euphrates River, called Dura-Europos. Around this time the city tried desperately to prevent an attack against the Persians by heaping a bunch of mud and dirt against its Western Wall and, in doing so, preserved the structures buried underneath for archeologists in the 1920s & 30s to uncover in pristine shape. One of the three major structures was a home converted into a church. A wall had been removed in the dining area making more room for congregants, benches were installed around the walls of a courtyard likely as a place for instruction (think Sunday School), and one bedroom had pipes rearranged so it could hold a baptismal font. In fact, homes were so modified for the sake of more people hearing the gospel truth - that eventually, church leaders just received them as donations (no longer lived-in but used exclusively for church ministry purposes), which paved the way for much grander church structures in the 4th century and beyond. In other words, people's gospel-flexibility and gospel-sacrifice with their homes was so immense that it made their home unusable for living and ushered out the era of true house churches. 

The Bedroom with Baptismal Font at Dura-Europos

Rearranging Homes: Today. Our church, Sunrise, meets on Sundays for Corporate instruction in the Word & worship through Song in a Performing Arts Theatre. However, the church really accelerated in unity and growth almost four years ago as we started to hold Bible Studies in homes, which came to be known as Community Groups. Today, we are toward the tail end of Stage 1 of an effort to reach not-yet-Christians through Christianity Explored Dinner Groups - again hosted in ten or so homes. Homes are the real "theatre" in which the bulk of gospel ministry takes place in and through our church.  

Rearranging Homes: Thanksgiving. Katie and I, though we are "people people," are not particularly strong in the area/gifting of hospitality via our home (our children, however, are professional home "rearrangers"...it's like they earned a Masters-level degree in it). So it was good this Am for us to take time to give thanks for those who are and I want to encourage you, dear Reader, to do likewise - for those who have selected homes based on hosting people for worship and fellowship, for those who take time to add scents, sights, and sounds that are pleasing to the senses, for those who have modified permanently or rearrange regularly both their homes and lives to host the saints and anyone searching out the truth of God's good news in Jesus Christ. 

I am so grateful to, You, Abba Father for: Thomas and Lyana Bolas who weekly strain to add furniture and tables to a room that barely accommodates it, for Eduardo and Emilie Del Risco who both work and host while parenting a little girl, for Karl & Janine Nyyssonen who have faithfully hosted for years with the warmest of atmospheres, for Neil & Marida Montgomery whose lives and personalities are buoyant, for the Morgans and Wendles who I know share the love, for Kevin and Maggie McCormac who welcome you warmly as soon as you enter, for JP & Lisa Welman who have permanently modified their very lives to readily host, for Genevieve G and Rose Smith, for Wes Heistand who has stretched himself to weekly have people over, Jeremy & Sheena Strickland who have people plop down on their comfy sofa to "chill-ax," for Avril Ward and Brent & Leslie Novak who have hosted Women's Fellowship Breakfasts, for Jeff and Susy Cummer and Jim and Sherrie Ehman who have hosted events for our teens, for my good friends Gordon and Anna Macrae who've hosted a multitude to their home (including our family quite regularly) and even had an upstairs built exclusively to host those in need. And I'm sure I've left someone out...I give thanks for you too!

Rearranging Homes: You. Perhaps God is calling you to rearrange your Home for the Gospel. Consider the following: 

• (1) Do you already find joy in having people over at your home - even slightly disappointed when they say they must "retire for the evening"? 
• (2) If you are unsure, try it on for size to see if this kind of hospitality is a gift/talent that fits your life -- after a few tries, if you walk away tired and grumpy, with a frustrated spouse, and notice little fruit, that's okay. There are plenty of ways to serve God's church!; 
• (3) Are you part of a local church and have you asked your pastors/leaders if there is something upcoming for which you can make your home available? Perhaps it is better to first try a singular event versus a long-term commitment; 
• (4) If the pastors/leaders say "not really" or "yes, but it'll be a while," consider being hospitable to a newer someone on a Sunday morning and then inviting them over to your home for lunch after the worship service. New people, especially if new to where you live, are looking for an immediate community-connection -- better to the church of the living God than some place else. 

If the above isn't a long-term fit, consider thanking, encouraging, praying for and asking how you might support (with love, leadership, childcare resources...and of course food!) those who have permanently modified or regularly rearrange their homes for the sake of the gospel.

Relating to my church when I don't have kids

Katie and I recently returned from an amazing vacation during which, for the first time in seven years, we were able to leave our kids behind. One of the nights we were away a single friend in our church body, who is very precious to us, was gracious enough to watch our children. In some ways, it might have been easier to have our boys stay "with a friend" that night - a typical nuclear family. But three factors opened the door: (a) Intentionally broadening our horizons (and conversations and things in common) to befriend our brothers and sisters free of children; (b) That person intentionally broadening their horizons to befriend a family with children. Katie, myself, and our boys were immensely blessed by our friend taking two nights (one to orient herself with their schools and their routines) to serve our family;  (c) Jesus Himself, through whom such possibilities of unlikely friendships become possible (see Ephesians 2:11-22). And so we reached out and asked a favor which she could meet and did...

As the years go by participating as a significant member of one's church and you are single without children or married without children, I recognize there exists a distinct possibility of feeling alienated or, at least, just that little amount of distance from those with children - enough to hinder friendship beyond the occasional handshake, hello, and hug.

I've pasted below (was having problems with the url link) a wonderful testimony by a woman named Erin Lane - who is both a significant member of her local church and who has chosen to be married without children. I think she gets somewhere near the heart of the right reasons to choose life without children or, if unable to have children or single, some ideas to connect and be a blessing without children. Both those with and without children might profit from her story...

I am a young Christian women who doesn’t have children. I suppose the more interesting thing to folks is that I am a married woman with no plans on having future children of my own. I have ventured so far as to call this choice not just a lifestyle preference but a sacrifice, and one that serves the common good.

The common good is a concept that is as illusory as it is necessary. I understand what it means and am able to give voice to it on a larger scale only in as much as I can witness it playing out locally. I could spout arguments as others have about how our remaining childless may be good for this reason or that, but the best argument I can give for our choice is that it’s good for my neighbor. This I’ve seen with my own two eyes. I’ve heard it with perked ears.

We were hiking along a leaf-littered path, making our way up to the hermitage. I was on the heels of our pack leaders, two women who looked to be in their early forties. They chatted easily with one another, and I eavesdropped behind them. This, I determined, was less awkward than side winding around them and forging a path to the top of the mountain alone. We were after all on a church women’s retreat. “Community time” was part of the point.

It didn’t matter that they were taking about their kids, and I had none.

The theme of our retreat was celebration. The context was the Sabbath. Jennifer, our speaker for the weekend, told us of her time living in Jerusalem as a Christian single woman and how the city became a ghost town on Friday afternoons as people scurried home to prepare for their weekly day of rest. Sabbath wasn’t just a day of self-care, as it is sometimes practiced today in the West. It was about a community resting in rhythm. Singles and marrieds came together to eat, drink, and bless each other as one family.

“You can join us, you know,” the one in the running jacket said looking back at me. “But you might be bored.”

I laughed, awkwardly, and propelled my pace. “I don’t mind hearing about your kids.” Women are always apologizing to me for talking about their kids. They want to assure me that they’re not “that kind of woman.” I want to assure them that I think motherhood is a vocation to mull over just as much as mine is as a writer.

The other woman with a fleece tied around her waist caught me up. “We were just saying how there’s no way we could take a Sabbath with small children at home.”

Running woman continued. “I can give Dan time off from the kids to relax, but that means I’m taking them to the park or dreaming up an art project or just supervising free play. And then we switch, and I go for a run or grab a glass of wine but there’s no way we can really rest together.”

She tilted her face up to the hills, as if she were talking to herself now. “Those young women talk like it’s easy to rest. But the weekend isn’t restful.”

I strained my neck further so that it stuck out ever so slightly between them. “That’s where I come in.” Even as the words came out of my mouth, it sounded like a strange thing to say to these strange women I had just met. I had only been going to this church a little over a year but, still, I said, “That’s where a woman without children comes in.”

Without kids of our own, we practice the ministry of availability. When the sign-up sheet at church goes around for our night of ministry to the homeless, my husband and I always take the slot no one wants – the overnight guests. We are the ones with back’s strong enough to sleep on couches in the church parlor but old enough to handle a crisis together between either male or female guests. We don’t have to arrange a sitter for the dog we leave at home, and we can catch up on sleep in the quiet of our house come morning.

Without kids of our own, we practice the ministry of flexibility. It is that season of life when many of our female friends either have a belly full of baby or breasts full of milk. Young ones with new names are popping up down the block and across town at rates we’ve never before witnessed. We are learning there are feeding schedules and sleeping schedules and nary a moment for the happy hours and dinner parties of yesteryear. Fine, we say. Let us come to you. Not doing dairy because Malificent has reflux? We’ll thicken our broth with flour. Not sure when Alastair will wake up from his nap? We’re just watching Nashville, so text us when you’re ready. We have time. We’re not going anywhere.

And finally, without kids of our own, we practice the ministry of hospitality. We welcome the stranger in other people’s children. “I don’t want to staff the nursery during worship,” a young mom once lamented to me. “I’m always at the nursery.” Just because I don’t have kids, doesn’t mean I don’t like them—or understand the gifts that they are.

It was like I said on that long walk up to the hermitage. Let me watch your kids. Let me help you to be available to your partner. Let me help you be flexible with your friends. Let me help you be hospitable to the stranger in me. It’s not that you can’t practice these ministries as parents, only that it looks different when you are committed to a nuclear family.

We’ve gotten some flack for our decision to remain childless that’s hard to understand. People argue it’s not natural. That it’s selfish. Or that it’s endangering the future of the human race. I don’t think the future of the human race has ever been served by all people making the same choice. It’s the diversity of our choices that allow for us to rest in rhythm as a church community. It’s when the music starts to play and we begin to tap our feet and after listening for a beat, we can say, “That’s where I come in.”

  

Looking forward to Fall 2010: HOSPITALITY

While things are sort of light this Summer at Sunrise Community Church, I'll be blogging as to some of the plans that myself & the elders have been prayerfully discussing for the Fall. Please chime in with your thoughts as we're always looking for new ideas.

One of the areas we're looking to revamp is how we do Hospitality at Sunrise. Hospitality is both commanded in the New Testament for all believers and mentioned as a spiritual gift. Contrary to what I used to believe when my Mom made me eat nicely decorate food that tasted like plastic, hospitality goes beyond tea, crumpets, & making sure everyone is properly introduced with their titles (Madam, Miss/Misses, Mister, Doctor, Reverend, and Sir...I occasionally met people who'd been knighted). Hospitality, more broadly and more biblically-speaking, is that ability and practice of making another feel comfortable (see Romans 15: 1-7 to understand both what hospitality entails and what serves as its proper motivation). The Greek word translated "hospitality" is philoxenia, which literally translates "stranger love" or, less literally, love of strangers. And during the times when the NT was written, such "stranger love" was often the difference between a traveller and his family receiving a roof over their heads or having to spend the night outside, even bearing the elements to the point of death.

We've been enjoying our vaca with la familia, amigos & amigas back in the U.S. of A. Last week we had the pleasure of being hosted at a pastoral retreat center in the mountains of Tennessee. The Whitestone Inn is part of the Christian Hospitality Network -- which is a network of hotels and inns that offer special opportunities for full-time pastors & missionaries to get away & be refreshed at reduced rates. The very first night we were there, this place lived up to its Hospitable billing. The owners of this 600-acre facility invited some of us up to his large home on top of the hill to watch fireworks erupt below in the Tennessee River Valley.

While they didn't allow hospitality to overextend to the point of altering commitments made to guests of their home & family members (they have a grandchild living with them), they did extend a type of philoxenia ("stranger love"_ that I'm trying to describe. " I'll give you a few examples. (1) They let dozens of folks they've never met before meander through their home with the comment "you're welcome to go and look through any room that has its door open." And this place was an architectural & ecological delight. (2) The owner came to every breakfast and personally introduced himself. (3) At every dinner, he would tell a story and pray for the meal. As one person described, "It was like being home or what we wished our homes would be."

What a great concept for our ekklesia, our church fellowship. Church: What we wished our homes would be.

When everywhere else we feel like strangers, home is a place we ought to feel like we belong. That is the church to which Christ has called us. When we speak of "stranger love," I can't help but think of this truth in God's Word about our condition without Christ:

"Remember that your were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenant of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ" (Ephesians 2: 12-13).

Obedience in the Christian life is all about response -- it's hard to be too emphatic about this overarching truth. Just as Christ has brought us near when we were strangers, so he asks us to show "stranger love" that others might be brought near to God through faith in Christ & his blood (ie. his sacrifice on the cross).

Here are some things we're planning demonstrating "stranger love" as a church and I'll follow that up with ways you may want to consider getting involved:

• Newcomer's Lunch: Katie and I have spent the majority of our first six months just getting to know existing and new couples. Mostly one-shot meetings getting to know people's faith-stories, their experiences with churches, and fielding questions/concerns about SCC. These get-togethers, often informal and even unplanned, have been among the greatest joys for us during our brief time in Cayman. But as the church grows, we need to find a better way to introduce people to the church -- namely, a small group forum immediately after church in which Katie and I will open our home to newcomers, provide a catered lunch, get to know some folks, and field some questions and provide some info. about Sunrise. We plan to start this in September and run one every 2 months. All are encouraged to sign up and attend the first lunch.
• Nametags: Nametags are one of the issues that old-timers in the church (which for our church is a maximum of 3 years) and those of us who are long time "church goers" either love or hate. Mostly the latter -- I think because we take a little pride, perhaps, in knowing most people who come through those doors. Problem is: So many of us don't (I blame my ever-deteriorating memory due to childrearing). I'd love to hear your thoughts re: Nametags. I'd prefer printing out some you can wear each week (versus the plastic kind you pin on). And then having blank ones that people can fill out. But who should have some printed out? People who come most weeks? And how do we determine that? Would love to hear some ideas.
• A Culture of Hospitality. Being greeted by more than the "front door Mr. Rogers." Knowing where to go, where to eat, where to send their kids. Little things like making sure people can easily and readily provide us their information. We'll have three chair pockets for every single row among the center section of the Theater. That way everyone has access to a contact card, pen/pencil, and Bible -- not more than a reach away.

How might you consider getting involved?

• Offer a ride to or offer to accompany someone who is attending the Newcomer's Lunch (should you do so, we may even let you partake of the grub).
• Volunteer to be a Greeter/Usher
• Sign up for the Sunrise Facebook Page and recruit to it someone else you just met.
• Arrive 10 minutes before the service starts and note anyone(s) sitting by themselves who look new. Go sit near them and strike up a conversation. Newcomers often come early and those first few minutes are among the most uncomfortable of their entire week. Among God's people, this should not be!
• Once-a-month force yourself to rush out to the parking lot after the service, where you'll find newcomers often rushing to their car because they've grown accustomed to the idea that church is less than an "ideal home."
• If hospitality ain't your thing (and is certainly not your spiritual gift) put your heads together with a friend, roommate, or spouse, and figure out what you can do to invite a neighbor or new church attendee over to your home. As my former pastor said, "Spend time outside of the tribe" (outside of your circle of influence -- friends/family).
• What are the unique gifts or resources has given you? How would those bless people in the church? For instance if you have a trampeline, pool and/or big yard, how can I bless a new family with kids in our church? If I live on the beach, perhaps someone who does not would appreciate an afternoon at the beach while we either join them or vacate our premises so they can enjoy some alone time.
• Serve with someone. Find someone relatively new to the church, who you've gotten to know a bit, and ask if they'd like to serve with you as a greeter, in the nursery together, etc. I find there is perhaps no truer bond that is formed between people as when they look outside themselves and serve others.

These are just some ideas. Let us keep in mind, and may God help us, that the key to lasting in creating a culture of "stranger love" is to continually recall that we were once strangers brought near to our Father through the sacrifice of Christ. We estranged ourselves through sin -- choosing to go our own way -- but Jesus showed us "stranger love" by pursuing lost sheep and bringing them near to the Father and to His church.

Oh what love!!