Helping the Helper - Make sure Caregivers are well Cared for

A woman approached me on Sunday about visiting her rapidly ailing father. I asked about him, but she quickly shifted the conversation to her caregiving mother, who is constantly attending to his every need. She is exhausted. Emotionally spent. As she spoke, tears flowed, not only out of compassion but also from frustration. Is he doing all he can to get better? Why does she have to endure this? How can she support her caregiving mother from so far away?

Four years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. The diagnosis confirmed what her children had long suspected (including my doctor brother and doctor sister-in-law) but my father was the last to find out. It has been an uphill battle for him ever since. Just slightly behind to downward trajectory of my mother's condition. Trying to keep up with her ever-growing needs, we adult children would visit her whilst encouraging and consoling him. 

Early during this journey, I handed my father a little booklet that had caught my eye and resonated with what I felt for my Dad. Caregiver - that is the role that had now been thrust upon my father. And while many prayed and wept for my mother, his adult children knew, "This is going to be so hard on Dad. How can we make sure he seeks and gets help?"

Linked here is the booklet that CCEF has translated into blog form. You can access this for free and perhaps pass it on to someone you love who is giving care to another in need. Remember: They might feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed for looking after themselves, so make sure you help do it for them and affirm your support. 

Advent Help for Families and Adults

Advent comes from the Latin adventus and simply means, "coming." This liturgical season has served the church through the centuries as an intentional time for Christians to try to sense what it was like to anticipate the coming of the world's Savior - as predicted as far back as the Book of Genesis - and to anticipate the time when He will come again to restore all things. 

Advent began yesterday and culminates on Christmas Day. 

Here are a couple ways to intentionally celebrate the Savior with your kids during the Advent season and one way to go solo:

http://www.vergenetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/AdventBook2013.pdf. Advent 2013: The coming of the Rescuer is a FREE resource from the Austin Stone Community Church. It can be done alongside your regular Bible but also with The Jesus Storybook Bible, which we have available from the church. It also includes a coloring for each day which can be cut out and transformed into a Christmas Ornament to hang on the tree. It does say "2013" but don't let that worry you. It pretty much works the same and Christmas wasn't in beta all the way back in 2013. 

http://www.stewardship.org.uk/downloads/Studies%20and%20Sermons/advent-wonder/advent-wonder-family-15.pdf. The Gift: Family Bible time and activities for families. Two advantages to this one: 1) It's highly interactive - like break out the pencils and crayons, get your hands moving interactive. 2) There is a generosity focus - ie. Jesus is God's ultra-generous gift to us so the most natural response during Christmas is: How might we be generous to others?  Only disadvantage: One week at a time (but that might be an advantage as it makes it more "do-able" for many busy families).

Advent for adults: https://itunes.apple.com/cz/app/advent-devotions/id737013885?mt=8

Summer Reading & Slideshow

Yesterday was U.S. Labor Day, which marks the unofficial end to summer - at least in my country of origin. With Summer unofficially over (officially: it's 90 degrees out!), I thought I'd share a few books and pictures of our summer.

I felt in order to make this worth your while I had to find an different way to talk about reading (as it is "let's talk about what I read" can come off a bit egotistical). Thus, I'm going to organize the five books I used to ignore other people during the month of July  like a basketball team. I'll link the book if you are interested.

The Point Guard. Experiencing the Trinity: The Grace of God for the People of God by Joe Thorn.

Point Guards start the offense and get the team going in the right direction. This daily

devotional focuses 15 readings on the Father, 20 on the Son, 15 on the Holy Spirit. They are entirely God-centered with titles like "He is listening"; "He is love"; "His Reign"; "He indwells." These daily devotionals got my day going and distributed strength when I needed it the most (in a home with 38 other persons, for instance). Point guards are also small; this book can fit in your back pocket.

Unique because: Thorn encourages the practice of preaching to oneself. Not so much self-improvement but self-talk, which turns out isn't crazy but biblical (see Psalm 116:7; Psalm 42:5). This book forced me to remind myself who God is and who I am in relation to Him. I usually just scorn myself, so this was a more helpful use of my self-directed inner rants.

Best line: Under the chapter "His Hold" describing the Son - "John 10:28 is not a promise of live without wavering or wandering. You can backslide. You have before. But the good work that Jesus began in you will continue. You faith will continue. And these things will go on not because of your commitment but because of Jesus' faithfulness."

The Shooting Guard. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. 

Shooting Guards are require the ball a lot and shoot the ball way too much, but because they are so graceful to watch (like eye candy!) you don't mind that they waste your time. My most enjoyable reading - the kind you do in a hammock or steal away when you should probably be paying attention to your child playing near water- was spent on this N.Y. Times Bestseller. 

Unique because: It's the kind of book that you regret is coming to a close with each page turn and wish you could experience again for the first time - like a first rollercoaster, first kiss, or first taste of cotton candy. Written by a Christian man, Enger writes beautifully about life, sin, redemption in a way that is thrilling not preachy, relatable not religious - using riveting characters from 1960s rural America.

Best Line: "I can feel it still, that sizzling jump inside my organs. It didn't feel good, not as I would've suspected the touch of the Lord might feel, but I wouldn't say it felt bad either. It only felt powerful, like truth unhusked."

The Small Forward. 1776 by David McCollough.

Small forwards in basketball play important roles in determining a game with their grit and hustle but they are often enigmatic (see Ron Artest, who legally changed his name to "Metta World Peace."). Such is my home country, the United States of America. Some major changes have taken place in my nation of citizenship that have caused friends and family to question how "we got here." Inspired by a father-son trip to Washington, D.C. with my youngest son, I decided to read a book focused on the events of and leading up to our revolutionary war.

Unique because: It's 'Merica! Author of modern democracy and inventor of fried oreos.

Best line: "And if his youth was obvious, the Glorious Cause was to a large degree a young man's cause. The commander in chief of the army, George Washington, was himself only forty-three. John Hancock, the President of the Continental Congress, was thirty-nine, John Adams, forty, Thomas Jefferson, thirty-two. In such times many were being cast in roles seemingly beyond their experience or capacities."

The Power Forward. Becoming Worldly Saints: Can you serve Jesus and still enjoy your life? by Michael Wittmer.

Power forwards are big and strong - getting a lot done with seemingly little effort. Rebounding, scoring, blocking shots while having fun doing it. Such is this book. I live in the Cayman Islands. Just look at the front cover of the book - I'm pretty sure it was an artist rendering of the beach from which I live just 100 yards. I have those sunglasses! Thus, I live with people who ask (or should be asking!) this very question: Can I serve

Jesus and still enjoy my life? 

Unique because: A potent combination of (1) Funny; (2) Weighty with good biblical content (correcting the Christian's common "spiritual = better" worldview); (3) Doesn't require you to give up your job in finance or marketing to follow Jesus (or feel like a 1st class Christian).

Best Line: "Heaven and earth may seem to compete, but when we look deeper we actually find they are complementary. A flourishing human life is the best advertisement for the gospel, and the gospel in turn empowers us to become better people."

The Center. Fool's Talk: Recovering the Art of Christian Persuasion by Os Guinness. 

Centers are a team's anchor. They force the other teams to take bad shots and have "their teammates" backs if something goes wrong. And in the NBA they often speak with accents that are very difficult for me to understand. No book was as important for me to read as this one - which gave practical advice from a lifelong persuader like Os Guinness. Guinness has spent his life trying to persuade smart people towards the good news about Jesus and with the good news about Jesus. This is his magnum opus - sharing from decades of experience of how you can help people question their assumptions and see the ultimate futility of how they view the world. Like a Lithuanian Center, Guinness is at times difficult to understand - what I mean is he is brilliant, writing with significant depth - making this a time-consuming, 1 minute per page kind of read.

Unique because: Guinness writes not just why Christianity is most reasonable but suggests strategies as to how you and I can demonstrate just that to a not-yet-Christian in a 1-on-1 relationship.

Best Line: "As Reinhold Niebuhr insisted, there is a limit to what even the power of God can do as power alone, for 'such power does not reach the heart of a rebel.' Power can fence us in, but only sacrificial love can find us out. Power can win when we are ranged against it, but it cannot win us. Such is the hard, tenacious, willful, festering core of sin at the heart of each one of us that only the equally deliberate, tenacious love disguised in the absurd powerlessness, shame, pain, loneliness and desolation of the cross -- all for us-- could reach us and subvert us."

I write this because I hope you will find time to read - and perhaps one of these books might be helpful to you. Now a couple pictures from our summer.

Creative Activity to Engage Kids in Prayer

Over at the Verge Network, Karen Hardin has relayed to us a fantastic, creative, and get-off-your-behind way to engage your child(ren) in prayer. Namely, as she puts it, you can use your child's tendency to see differences to foster gratitude and a habit of prayer. Who doesn't want to do that and who doesn't have a child who has complained "Brother, sister, Bobby, Sally has more/better ______ than me" ?!

Read here: "Turning Your Child's Focus Inside Out."

I will be trying to implement with our boys this week and can let you know how it goes. I can imagine this becoming a weekly prayer activity or maybe doing 1 or 2 of the ten "stations" per night along with regular worship & Bible Reading. Even though they are now getting a bit older, there are some nights my kids just have a hard time sitting - thus, this station-to-station idea may on such nice prove a nice alternative to exasperating "Ah, forget it, just go brush your teeth and get ready for bed."

May God use this wisdom to help your child engage with the God who can empower all of us to cease looking outward to compare but rather look outward to behold the goodness and glory of Jesus who can transform us toward love (II Corinthians 3:18).

Kids & you Fathers that help raise them

I was just reading through an old journal earlier this morning and came across some thoughts in response to the Apostle John's poetic pronouncement of truth (it's not quite hymn/poem nor quite benediction/blessing) in 1 John 2:12-14. Here are the first two poetic pronouncements of truth:

I am writing to you, little children,                                                                    because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake,                                                      I am writing to you, fathers,                                                                             because you have known him from the beginning. 

Fathers, consistently confront your children with the life-altering forgiveness of Jesus - because children have a unique ability to utterly self-forget and focus outward when first awestruck. What happens then at being awestruck? They are able to learn about Jesus without the jaded cynicism, without the colored past that colors our view of Jesus and what we like best about him, without the pressures of adult life that aims to get what we wish to get out of Jesus. When they discern and acknowledge the "Big No" in their own hearts called sin and make the connection to Jesus the Rescuer - they camp out on that bridge! It becomes all about "his name's sake" and there is no other season like this in their lives. 

Earlier this week, we had a night of hockey practice (yes, in the Cayman Islands...lots of wonderful Canadians live here and have brought their beloved hockey!!) and two different elementary school open houses to attend. Juggling the boys on my own at the hockey rink, I came across a decision Katie had made that didn't immediately "sit well" with me. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and, while I didn't say anything, the boys detected that I was visibly upset. In between a little chaos here and there, Katie engaged in her own talk with God in the car and humbly apologized to me, which she didn't need to but her example deeply softened my heart. She proceeded to join her own open house where she is an Art Teacher while I set out on my own to engage our boys with our nightly family worship. We talked about the difference Jesus' forgiveness makes. I asked if they recognized Dad's anger earlier in the day: "Uh, yeah, your face told the story" said Mason. I had opportunity to share with them how their Mom responded: Humbly having already sought out and experienced God's forgiveness - and how her example impacted Dad. They both responded with smiles and snuggles (10 & 7 year old boys - getting increasingly rare) and with awe: "Man, Jesus can really do that, can't he?!" The forgiveness of Jesus breaking into real life absolutely captivated them such that we then had opportunity to talk more about instances in the gospels where Jesus humbly extends forgiveness and its softening impact on those who experienced it.

Fathers, remember you can know the One who has been a Father from the beginning. You feel the pressures of caring for a family. Thinking about what you are imparting to them, how to say it/impart it, their education now, their education years from now, balancing time in the office and your travel schedule with time at home. Furthermore, your responsibility for others, as a kind of father-figure, may extend outward over those in a small business, or providing direction for those who care for others. There is One who has been a Father from the beginning, who has cared for every need and been faithful to every promise for generations.  He's had to stomach hard decisions: Kicking Adam & Eve out of the Garden; starting over through Noah; keeping Moses from the promised land, withholding the temple building project from David who dreamed it, and not taking from Jesus the bitterest cup of just wrath -- and all the ones in between both in the Bible and since. All along He's watched each decision profit the person, His people, and His name. He knows. Learn from Him, stay near to Him.

I love you, fathers. God is using you! Keep fighting the good fight as you hold out to your kids the forgiveness of Jesus and hold fast to the faithful Father of every generation. 

Advent Guides for Families & Adults

Advent comes from the Latin adventus and simply means, "coming." It has served the church through the centuries as an intentional way for Christians to try to sense what it was like to anticipate the coming of the world's Savior - as predicted as far back as the Book of Genesis - and to anticipate the time when He will come again to restore all things. 

Advent begins today and culminates on Christmas Day. 

Here are a couple ways to intentionally celebrate the Savior with your kids during the Advent season and one way to go solo:

http://www.vergenetwork.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/AdventBook2013.pdf. Advent 2013: The coming of the Rescuer is a FREE resource from the Austin Stone Community Church. It can be done alongside your regular Bible but also with The Jesus Storybook Bible, which we have available from the church. It also includes a coloring for each day which can be cut out and transformed into a Christmas Ornament to hang on the tree.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/the-expected-one-advent-guide/id736051191?mt=8.  The Expected One Advent Guide will cost you 99 cents in the App Store or alternately you can purchase it for $1.99 at Lifeway publishing. While it may cost you a buck 


Advent for adults: https://itunes.apple.com/cz/app/advent-devotions/id737013885?mt=8

The Curse of Passivity

Last night my boys and I were reading in bed about God's selection of David to succeed Saul as King of Israel. As the moral of the selection story is that God looks not at outward appearance but the content of one's heart  (1 Samuel 16:7), we prayed that God would give us a heart for God like David...when my oldest son Mason interrupted my prayer himself praying: "Except for his later heart when he has that guy killed in battle." We laughed and then prayed that. Mason was right though. While David was forgiven and restored by God, his heart was never quite the same after adultery with Bathsheba, killing her husband Uriah, and subsequently losing a child. He grew passive. He allowed his sons like Absalom to first drift, then rebel, and then only casually restore them when they repent (he tells Absalom, who kills his brother & David's son out of revenge: You can return to Jerusalem but don't drop by my [your father's] house...what?!!! - See 2 Samuel 15:24). In large part because he was neither confronted directly nor restored by his dad the king, Absalom returns to rebellion by trying to take his dad's throne. Passivity curses.

The curse of David's passive leadership. David teaches us so much with regard to a singular love and passion for God, patient trust in His promises, and even integrity. But at the very end of his life, we are taught through a negative example of his leadership passivity: In the midst of charging and blessing his son Solomon, he inadvertently curses him - by laying upon him a burden that should've been his own. Here's David to his son:

(1 Kings 2:5-9 ESV) 

[5] “Moreover, you also know what Joab the son of Zeruiah did to me, how he dealt with the two commanders of the armies of Israel, Abner the son of Ner, and Amasa the son of Jether, whom he killed, avenging in time of peace for blood that had been shed in war, and putting the blood of war on the belt around his waist and on the sandals on his feet. [6] Act therefore according to your wisdom, but do not let his gray head go down to Sheol in peace. [7] But deal loyally with the sons of Barzillai the Gileadite, and let them be among those who eat at your table, for with such loyalty they met me when I fled from Absalom your brother. [8] And there is also with you Shimei the son of Gera, the Benjaminite from Bahurim, who cursed me with a grievous curse on the day when I went to Mahanaim. But when he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the LORD, saying, ‘I will not put you to death with the sword.’ [9] Now therefore do not hold him guiltless, for you are a wise man. You will know what you ought to do to him, and you shall bring his gray head down with blood to Sheol.”

Shimei had cursed David in one David's lowest moments - temporarily leaving his throne and on his way out of Jerusalem riding a donkey (1 Samuel 16:9-14). David essentially forgave Shimei and made to him what was perhaps a rash promise - but, even if not, one that should have extended beyond his life. Clearly David had forgiven but not forgotten - evidence that he had not, in fact, forgiven. More egregious was his command (or, worse, strong insinuation) to Solomon to not let Joab's "gray head go down Sheol in peace" (v.6). Joab was a largely faithful and certainly longstanding commander of David's military. But David constantly let Joab off the hook for egregious acts of aggression, most of which violated the king's direct order. BUT Joab was good at what he did - so David largely let it go - at least until this day when he would saddle Israel's next leader with the role of "bad cop." 

The reality of your leadership & temptation to passive. Everybody leads somebody or, at least, should be. Such leadership might be in a church, a workplace, a family, or in your community. Somebody looks up to you and responds to your example (sometimes by avoiding doing what you do or imitating what yo do). It is becoming increasingly tempting in our day and age to lead passively - to be the laid-back leader, the no worries pace-setter, the fun friend who happens to also be your parent, boss, project manager, pastor, teacher. But what happens when you're gone - either temporarily or permanently? Can the person you've lead replace you? Have you been sufficiently intentional with them now to set them up for success later? Is the legacy you leave going to be a clean slate with only the treasures of your good counsel, patient 'training' and humble example framing an otherwise fresh start? 

Objection: What about Let Go & Let God? I just met with a dear friend who lamented that they too often try to intervene and control a situation rather than allow God to work. That is a legitimate problem in any form of leadership - you want them to 'get it,' you want them to grow, or, a bit less healthily/OCD, you want them to perform a function in a certain way. Patience is required. But there is an alternative to the two extremes of either Let Go/Let God or GoGoGo/Get'erDone. Namely: Trust God AND Dig In. Let God and Let God implies that we are to no longer concern ourselves with something important until God acts. But that is now how the Bible conceives of trust. Biblical trust is (a) going to God with the concern and constantly entrusting Him with it in prayer. Hence the parable of the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8). Prayer is envisioned as God doing the change while we struggle (Colossians 4:12). More important to God than security or military guards to watch over His people was armies of hard laborers in prayer (check out Isaiah 62:6-7). Biblical trust is (b) patiently keep doing what you are doing as you trust God is at work both in you and behind-the-scenes. Hence: Paul keeps working to see people grow in Christ though understanding the ability to work is only because God is at work (Colossians 1:28-29); the believer keeps working at growing but God does all the heavy lifting (Philippians 2:12-13); there is a rest you can only find in continuing to work (Matthew 11:28-30) - but the difference, as highlighted by Jesus in these last verses, is you have someone sharing the yoke and doing the work with you. Your co-worker happens to be the resurrected God of the universe, Jesus Christ. Similarly, when you struggle and labor in prayer, the idea is that you get God, who becomes a Refuge and a Rest in a way that simply "letting go" or getting it out of your mind never can or will be.

Signs you might be drifting toward passivity & what you can do about it. 
1. You have not given away a vision. David possessed a singular mission & vision for his life, which I think is best expressed in Psalm 27:4: "One thing I ask of the LORD / this is what I seek / to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life / to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord / and to seek Him in his temple." While David demonstrates such a singular passion and trust to those who fought with and for him (see 2 Samuel 23:16-17; 1 Samuel 24:3-7), such instruction and example is wholly absent in interacting with those over whom he had the most influence - his children. We have a family mission: "To make disciples who grow by grace in becoming mature in Christ." Accordingly, Katie and I take any opportunity to show our kids every gift of grace comes from above (James 1:16-17), we are totally dependent on God working to save us and others (Romans 9:16), it is returning to the cross daily that strengthens us (Hebrews 12:2-3) and helps us become more loving (Luke 7:47). Frankly, this happens a lot by responding well to sin - which we do a lot! (I am a professional sinner and amateur pastor). Katie and I demonstrating forgiveness of one another in front of our children, asking our children for forgiveness when we are unnecessarily harsh toward them or, in other cases, not harsh enough (let disobedience go unpunished out of our own laziness), giving God credit as much as possible, helping them see the importance of hard work and discipline as a response to God's grace not in order to earn it, giving to others as a family in recognition of His gift toward us are ways we intentionally impressing a godly vision upon our 'replacements.' What about you? What's your mission and vision? How are you passing this on?  As a recent guest preacher reminded our people: When the Bible talks about "drifting," it is always toward disobedience and never toward God. Intentionally give away a God-sized vision.

2. When those closest come calling, you sigh, gripe and roll. When those closest to us (you know the kind who are so close and familiar that your rep won't be ruined if you don't respond angelically) come asking for something, seeking help or guidance, reach out for a listening ear, you find yourself rolling your eyes a bit more at the Caller ID, sighing at their voice from far away, or respond a bit abruptly to their needs - this is a sign that you've stopped caring to lead them well. It's so strange: But haven't you found that those with whom you're closest often get your 'scraps' at the end of the day or in a less pressurized moments? This defies logic, especially considering it is these upon whom you will have the greatest long-term influence (probably not that client, nor fitness instructor, nor little Jimmy's teacher). As highlighted above, David was ready for work-life and gave his best to it. He was likewise ready for church-life - he even wrote a good portion of the Bible's songbook. But was he too preoccupied on his walk home with success in these areas to consider: How is Joab really doing in loving God? If I've really forgiven others, why the bitterness inside? Am I really ready to minister to my family? If you are like me and at some point during the day travel back to those with whom you are closest (home, restaurant, gym, etc.): Use that time in the car or on your bicycle to ask God to refresh you, forgive you, renew you, get your mind and heart right so you can minister and lead well. When you arrive, God will have you ready to listen to problems, ask good questions, draw out desires & goals, and help them both plan and work toward greatness.

3. People soon suffer in your absence. You see the writing on the wall. "The quality of work will suffer a bit and these people will miss me when I'm gone." And too often we secretly envision this as a sign of our worth and contribution - but really it's the failure of passive leadership. David thinks he sets up Solomon for success by getting all the materials together to build a temple to God (1 Chronicles 29:1-2). But he saddles Solomon with the immediate problems of a renegade military commander whose personality is too large and decision-making unsound because both have gone unchecked and a father's last wish to exact justice where he failed to finalize forgiveness. In his classic work Spiritual Leadership, Oswald Sanders notes: "The true test of a person's leadership is the health of the organization when the organizer is gone." Would your absence leave: A vacuum in volunteering? Other potential servants paralyzed to step up? Family members ill-prepared to carry on with even a 'routine' emergency (ie. sickness, cancelled flight, last-minute project sprung upon you by your boss)? I know I need to be better trained in making at least 3-4 gluten-free meals for our kids which don't require a grill in Katie's absence while I need to show Katie how to access important financial documents and information in my absence. Perhaps a good starting point is: Should something happen to me, have I prepared someone to step in? If not, who should I ask? Approach them: "I may not always be around. Can I show you what I do?" Such an approach is an extension of the Apostle Paul's approach to training: "Follow me as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1).

An Example of the Blessing of Active Leadership. Most people have heard the story of Isaac Newton's discovery of the law of gravity after observing the fall of an apple. What few people know is that is that Edmund Halley, the astronomer who discovered Halley's Comet, provided for a young Newton the kind of active leadership that set him up for success and greatness. Halley didn't go the laid-back route of offering his pupil a couple encouraging words and lots of 'space' (so he could set about his own research on that comet). In fact, Halley challenged Newton to think through his original notions. He corrected Newton's mathematical errors and prepared geometrical figures to support his work. Not only did he encourage Newton to write his groundbreaking work: Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, but Halley edited the work, supervised its publication, and financed its printing, even though Newton was wealthier and could much more easily afford the printing costs. Halley gave away vision, stuck with encouraging and patiently challenging Newton when Isaac wanted to give up (versus sigh, gripe, and roll), and left behind a far larger legacy in his absence - namely, Newton & his work on gravity - than in his presence. A truly great leader!

Summer Reading & Pics

Hi friends. It's good to be back on Grand Cayman (a.k.a. "The Rock"). Katie, the boys, and I enjoyed our time on leave immensely. So good, even while there were some adventures -- see near death in lightning storm, the leg infection from a dirty/overpopulated river, and a chigger bite infestation all of which were superfluously (and, frankly, needlessly) covered in my first sermon back. The four weeks away were capped off wonderfully by time away at a Bed and Breakfast with my bride as her sister watched the chillins'. I am just so grateful for my closest friend in life and ministry!

Did a lot of livin', lovin', and readin' during the trip -- so a brief summary of each below (the "lovin'" is subjective and open to interpretation). First pictures, then Books.

Summer Pics.

Kiawah Island. A home away from home &
site of the 2012 PGA Golf Championship
(won on Sunday by Rory McIlroy )

Beach Olympics. Gage & his cousin Andy go 3-legged against
Mason and his younger cousin Lincoln, who've lost their 'rope'
(notice: it is really a bungee cord my father found in his garage).

Fourth of July Parade. With electricity in Cayman costing
way too much for Christmas decor, Fourth of July afford
us our next best chance to be tacky and gaudy.

One of FOUR trees that fell in my sister and I's path during a lighting storm. Really, Lord?! Four?!

July 15. 2:04:05 pm 

July 15. 2:04:10 pm
("5 typical seconds in the ever-changing life of my youngest son")

Flexing before Ziplining
(Mason, cousins Marlow and Moriah) 

Father-Son Trip to D.C.
(at Nat'l Zoo - see Panda in background)

Father-son Baseball Trip

How gangsta is this pic?! Cousin Eliot looking cool,
Mason flashing gang signs, Cousin Jemma with the hardcore spit.

Summer Reading.

My favorite book of the Summer was Dianne Severance's Feminine Threads: Women in the Tapestry of Christian History. And if that makes you feel awkward, imagine the many looks and comments I received/endured from family and friends as I sported this book whose cover features an image tantamount to an Audrey Heburn silhouette on the beach, hammock, etc. Hint: They were not favorable toward my masculinity. But it was well worth it. I love history. But let's face it: Most history from 0-1950 A.D., both history in general or church history, is very masculine in its focus. And I'm not going to comment on whether that's a travesty or conspiracy nor argue that we need to rewrite all of history. However, I felt it was worthwhile for Katie and I (and those to whom I minister) to potentially benefit from the many lives of women who contributed to the spread of the gospel to the four corners of the earth, in their neighborhoods, and, most importantly, in their own households. It was awesome. In fact, I've ordered some copies and will be putting them on sale in our church lobby. Dianne Severance does an excellent job of combining historical accuracy with readability. I found the first 50-75 pages a bit dry, but after that I found it to be an absolute page-turner. 

Mason and I did the Narnia thing this Summer - specifically Prince Caspian (the fourth book in the Chronicles of Narnia series...and the most natural sequel to The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe). This was the first time I can recall Mason saying, during a break, "Dad, I really like this story. I can't wait to pick it up again." Here are a couple of my favorite moments.

At the end of feasting led by the god Bacchus but in the presence of Aslan, Lucy notes to Susan at the close of one chapter, "I should be afraid of Bacchus, if Aslan wasn't here." It's a profound statement really. Bacchus is the Roman god of making merry (ie. partying). Yet he makes his way into a Christian children's book. How? Because Aslan is present. Partying for its own sake or for the sake of self-indulgence is a fearful thing to these girls because even they know at their young age that it causes self-destruction, causes one to become less human. But merriment/party-making is itself relished by God when done for Him, through Him, and by Him. Thus, in Aslan's presence, the joy and merriment is pure and allows one to be more free to take pleasure in it.

A second moment is when Lucy reacquaints herself with the great lion, Aslan (who represents Jesus in the story), having not visibly seen him in some time:

"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"Not because you are?" 
"I am not, but every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

A third Book I had opportunity to read was Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand. It was the fascinating life story of an wunderkind Olympic runner who becomes a WWII bombadeer. Louis Zamperini's plane and crew crash over the Pacific. His story of survival that ensues is really quite inspiring. 

Finally, I was blessed to read Radical Together: Unleashing the People of God for the Purpose of God by an 'up-and-coming' young pastor named David Platt. His church's story of sacrifice from a place of comfort is quite encouraging and challenging. His chapter pinpointing the need sacrifice comfort to reach unreached people groups specifically is compelling.

Parents, Obey your Children?

This morning's sermon on Colossians 3:20 (Children, obey your parents...) was geared toward our children, youth, teens. Involved in the proceedings were a Wii Remote, a Squirt Bottle, and...a children's book called Skippy Jon Jones. I like the Skippy Jon Jones Series (in part because I enjoy talking in a Hispanic accent, probably wrong!!, and there's a lot of that required in these books). This one was called Skippy Jon Jones in the Dog House. But upon reflecting a little more on these books I feed my children, it's disconcerting that a child's disobedience is overlooked while he's lauded by book's end as the hero because of his imagination and creativity. 


It's the kind of thing discussed in this insightful article by Dr. Al Mohler, "Children Obey Your Parents." It's worth your while, parents, to read and consider - so as to not let solid, biblical parenthood drift into oblivion (or Disney TV tween programming).


Tomorrow I am off on vacation with the fam through the rest of July. So this will be my last blog entry for the month. Many blessings!

Leaders that Lead, willing 'followers' and everyone in between

Let me immediately open by saying, one, the concept of leadership in the Christian setting has been exploited for so many ill-gotten purposes that we should first remember that the greatest leader is the greatest servant (see Mark 10:43). Second, any good leader is a good follower. As the apostle Paul exhorted one church: "Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Cor. 11:1). The best leaders are those who follow Jesus while happening to be in the midst of others. To put it another way, you can't be a good shepherd until you're a good sheep.


But I ran across a verse and chapter in Scripture yesterday that made me grateful for both faithful leaders and equally as faithful non-leaders amongst the people of God, in families, and especially in local churches. I wanted to share it. It's from the Book of Judges. Deborah - the acting judge - and Barak - Israel's acting military leader - have just been used by God to achieve a great victory over the Canaanites in this new land. Having won, Deborah & Barak release a patriotic duet on LP and the following is the opening line:

That the leaders took the lead in Israel,                                                                    that people offered themselves willingly,                                                               bless the LORD!   (Judges 5:2).

Grateful for the faithfulness of "non-leaders." Remember, at this point, God's people have just inhabited this new land and really began to identify with this "each tribe gets a piece of the pie" thing. Was like everybody being in a new little clubs with fancy rights & privileges and then left to figure out how not to be "clique-ish." Isn't this so easy to do as a Christian? We throw around terms like "child of God" because we are through trust in Christ. Also terms like "heir," "priest," "gifted" because we are in Christ. However, we begin to worship the status, prize it above all possessions to the point where we can, frankly, act like spoiled brats (yours truly included). We don't just want the privileges of being part of a family (and its primary expression through the local church) but we want to receive the privileges the way we want (most preferable, most comfortable) and without cost. Many, however, take time to grapple with a leader's vision and, most importantly, take time to look to Christ - the leader - and are thus able to recall the burden and responsibility of leadership that stems from Him. That's what happens here in Judges. Many among the tribes band together to ally & defeat a force and culture which perniciously threatened their faithfulness to Yahweh. How easy it would've have been to stay home playing with their new toy! To take their gift and stay home. I'm so grateful to God for Sunrise Community Church where, for the most part, people have by-and-large taken the time to listen to, grapple with, & get excited about the vision God has imparted for our context and look to Christ, whereby they are able to sympathetically pray and support myself and other leaders. People rarely ask: "Why should I serve?" but, "Where can I be most helpful?" So willing! 


Grateful for leaders who lead. Bless Yahweh for leaders who take the lead! That seems obvious, right? Leaders lead. But reality is that there are many who call themselves "leaders" but don't step out to make the hard choices and endure pain as well as criticism along the way. They issue their informal version of a "gallup poll" & each time take the path of the prevailing tide. I remember Stuart Briscoe once saying, "Every pastor needs to have the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the hide of an elephant." It's true. I'm grateful for leaders who keep plodding along especially in the midst of pain and, at best, partial success (as all ministry is - not everyone will trust Christ, not all marriages will be saved, not everyone will get 'on board' in love & unity, and, for families, not every child will soon respond in faith & obedience). Deborah and Barak endured this. There were some tribes who decided to play with their new gift and stay home when their brothers were at war. Deborah & Barak wonder: What happened, Reuben? Where were you? (see vv.15-16). They pine: Gilead, Dan, Asher, what gives?! (see v.17). I can't tell you how many times as a leader where significant persons didn't show up - yes, I've been tempted to text/call the person: "where are you?" and have even given into this temptation. But, oh, for the leader who carries the pain as a response to Christ's carrying his pain and keeps moving forward and then encourages those present who do step up (as Deborah/Barak do - see especially v.9: "My heart goes out to the commanders of Israel, who offered themselves willingly among the people"). 


Response. The threat for Israel both grave and obvious. The Cannanites had wealth, cities, politics, art which were far superior to the Israelites all of which was under the guise of worship that promoted materialism and sensuality. What's the grave & obvious threat in your context? To your church? To your family? Let's be grateful for, pray for, and plan for (what do I need to do/change?) leaders & faithful people who exemplify the first line of Deborah and Barak's hit track:

That the leaders took the lead in Israel,                                                                    that people offered themselves willingly,                                                               bless the LORD!   (Judges 5:2).

Dudes - Part I

This Saturday we're having our first ever churchwide Men's Breakfast. So I'm making it a goal this week to post a few thoughts each day regarding issues and biblical insight surrounding being a dude and exercising one's dude-ishness. Of course, it's already Wednesday and there's a good chance this will be my last post...oh well.


I was talking today with a member of our congregation who is also on the police force. We talked about the absence of husbands and fathers in Cayman. I wondered out loud:

Isn't it strange that most women fear yielding leadership to men and most men fear taking it on (and are more than happy to give it up).

As a husband and then, by association, a father the admonition is clear about the form that leadership is to take and why it's so scary:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).

Be honest guys: Was the scary part just then the vague spiritual responsibility or realizing Jesus while he lived in real flesh & in real time did everything to the point of death for the sake of the church (and then applying that to our marriages)?


John Benton calls men to be self-sacrificial initiative-takers in his helpful little book Gender Questions (and, No, as at least one of you has asked before the book is not for those questioning which gender they are...there are shorter & simpler illustrated books for that):

The word initiative could be linked to the word leadership. But I am unhappy about that word in some respects because it has become so debased by modern ideas of managers who 'sit up there and make decisions' and have nothing to do with what is happening 'on the ground'...Biblical leadership is more to do with the idea of a pioneer -- a person who says, "I go first, to take the risks, to make the way safe for others, to take the knocks."

Men, I suggest if we would make every effort, by the grace of God and clinging to Christ as both our help & our example, to be this type of leader, the women in our lives might be a little less afraid of yielding leadership and considerably more grateful that we are living out who we said we'd be when we uttered those wedding vows.

Call to Courageous Manhood - $2 through Oct 15

I'm excited that the first weekend of Dec (Dec 2-3) Sunrise Community Church will be hosting a Marriage Conference from FamilyLife Ministries called "The Art of Marriage."


In preparation for this, I came across this wonderful resource from author & relationship guru, Dennis Rainey. It's called Stepping Up: The Call to Courageous Manhood. 


In this book, Rainey examines the five stages of every man's life and the God-given opportunity as well as responsibility of each stage. I read the first few chapters already and it is outstanding. If you know a man & especially if this man owns a Kindle, iPad, or reads eBooks - consider getting him this book (a cheap Birthday present??) or send him the link to this post. See the trailer below for a better idea of what to expect.


Best part: The eBook version is only $2 through Oct 15. Here's the LINK.


If you don't have an iPad or Kindle, here are links to some free eBook software to read the book on your laptop. Microsoft Reader and also Stanza Desktop for Mac.