A church for those who've wasted life - their own and maybe yours too

The Return of the Prodigal Son by Rembrandt

Jesus tells a story in Luke 15 about a father and two sons. It's a story I had the pleasure of getting to recount and explain this past Sunday. The youngest son is often described as prodigal, which means recklessly wasteful. This young man tells his father to his face he wishes he (the father) could die so he (the son) could finally live. The son then promptly wastes what the father gives him in the name of freedom and self-indulgence. In the most happy and surprising turn in the story, this recklessly wasteful son is welcomed home and even celebrated by his father (whom the son earlier wished dead!). The older son, who stuck around serving the father, is furious at the celebration...

As are many of us toward people in churches just like yours and mine. Some of those who sit and stand next to you on a Sunday morning cut corners (even commit fraud!) in their workplaces, have slept the night prior with someone who is not their spouse, and have even hurt you or someone you know. Yet sometimes we think in protest, "Others must know who they are and what they are doing and yet they still welcome such as these, they are still greeted, they are made to feel included." Indeed, we expect the welcome, forgiveness, and call of Jesus to be what transforms a person's life (Titus 2:11-15), not a starting line of moral conformity followed by Jesus' stamp of approval. Otherwise, Jesus would be called the "Affirmer" not the "Savior." For some, truly grasping this grace ("activated love") of the Lord Jesus takes a while and in the meantime such people may even call themselves a "Christian." In fact, I may even be describing you. But if I'm not - I want to appeal to the patience shown to you through Jesus Christ and also to consider the alternative - a church full of older brothers. 

In a small section of his book, The Prodigal God, Tim Keller talks about how during the early years being a Christian was considered abnormal and then helps us consider why we should desire for prodigals to be attending (and sometimes "messing up"!) our churches. I'll quote him at length because what he says is so good for us long-time church goers to hear:

It's hard for us to realize this today, but when Christianity first arose in the world it was not called a religion. It was the non-religion. Imagine the neighbors of the early Christians asking them about their faith. "Where's your temple?" they'd asked. The Christians would reply that they didn't have a temple. "But how can that be? Where do your priests labor?" The Christians would have replied that they do not have priests. "But...but," the neighbors would have sputtered, "where are the sacrifices made to please your gods?" The Christians would have responded that they did not make sacrifices anymore Jesus himself was the temple to end all temples, the priest to end all priests, any sacrifice to end all sacrifices.

No one had ever heard anything like this. So the Romans call them "atheists," because with the Christians were saying about spiritual reality was unique and could not be classified with the other religions of the world. This parable explains why they were absolutely right to call them atheists. 

The irony of this should not be lost on us, standing as we do in the midst of the modern culture wars. To most people in our society, Christianity is religion and moralism. The only alternative to it (besides some other world religion) is pluralistic secularism. But from the beginning it was not so. Christianity was recognized as a tertium quid, something else entirely.

The crucial point here is that, in general, religiously observant people were offended by Jesus, while those estranged from religious moral observance were intrigued and attracted to him. We see this throughout the New Testament accounts of Jesus' life. In every case where Jesus meets a religious person and a sexual outcast (as in Luke 7) or a religious person an a racial outcast (as in John 3-4) or a religious person and a political outcast (as in Luke 19), the outcast is the one who connects with Jesus and the older-brother type does not. Jesus says to the respectable religious leaders "the tax collectors and prostitutes enter the kingdom before you" (Matthew 21:31).

Jesus' teaching consistently attracted the irreligious while offending the Bible-believing, religious people of his day. However, in the main, our churches do not have this effect. The kind of outsiders Jesus attracted are not attracted to contemporary churches, even our most avant-garde ones. We tend to draw conservative, button-down, moralistic people. The licentious and liberated or the broken and marginal avoid church. That can only mean one thing. If the preaching of our ministers and the practice of our parishioners do not have the same effect on people that Jesus had, then we must not be declaring the same message that Jesus did. If our churches aren't appealing to younger brothers, it must be more full of older brothers that would like to think.

(FREE Audiobook for July) Eight Twenty Eight: When Love Didn't Give up

When I picked up looked over this book at a conference earlier this year, I had four different persons come up to me saying with fervor: "I can't believe Larissa and Ian put out a book!!"* Two ladies even grabbed each others' hands and with great glee half jumped up and down (more of a jumping motion, not sure they made lift off). 

I bought one copy for Katie and one for myself and we read it together. We both look for ways to grow in our love for each other without regard to performance or what the other person "brings to the table."  Ian and Larissa's is a compelling story about the unconditional love of Jesus applied to real life relationships. At first glance it appears to be a story exclusively about romance and marriage - but even after the first ten pages you realize: There is applicability in laying down one's life for any and every human relationship.

Click here for some free Summer listening for your road trip or your commute. 

*Or some near equivalent. "For Real-sie!" was also used. 

Why I've fallen back in love with y'all

When Katie, Mason & myself moved in 2005 from the frozen tundras of Chicago, Illinois to the pollenated southern United States (Tallahassee, Florida), I made a conscious decision that I would not give in to the use of y'all - be it in conversation or correspondence. I've always taken a little extra pride in employing correct grammar (it's the English Lit major in me - we have very little practical application of our studies!). I felt grammatically free of y'all after the now four of us moved to the multicultural Cayman Islands. I even secretly harbored a few  "told-ya-so" moments when listening to some Southern American friends struggle to try to explain y'all to persons of other cultures here in Grand Cayman. 

Falling back in love with y'all. Until, that is, in the Fall of 2010 when I re-discovered the brilliance of y'all. I was reading the book of Ephesians and I was astonished to re-read multiple prayers, teachings & exhortations as addressed to more than one person (as most of the New Testament is written to churches - 2nd person plural - not individuals). But it would be easy to read all of these brilliant verses as written to individuals because while the Original Greek has an expressed grammar that communicates "you" (plural), the English language does not. The British utilized "thou" as the second person singular for some time whilst reserving "you" for 2nd person plural. That faded by the end of the 17th century though. Back to Ephesians. Consider the difference y'all makes to how God's Word to us is understood & received:

1. Y'all were dead in your trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1)
Received individually (you): My story is that I was most definitely dead & following ways of the world, but some people's story may be different - some grew up Christian.
Received corporately as a church (y'all): There is not one person who wasn't dead and running in the other direction from God before He rescued them. Not one! We all collectively share some version of the same story.

2. But now in Christ Jesus y'all who were once far off have been brought near through the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13)
Received individually (you): I've been brought near for a personal relationship to God - Father, Son, Holy Spirit - because of what Jesus did. Every day is great if it's just you and Me, JC! 
Received corporately as a church (y'all): I've been brought near for a personal relationship to God - it's personal but not individual. I've also been brought near to others to experience with them eternal fellowship with God. 

3. [I pray] that y'all, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and how long, how high and how deep is the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:17).
Received individually (you): Jesus, please fill my cup to know and experience your love as an overflow. Please also fill up Jimmy's cup that he might experience this too.
Received corporately as a church (y'all): Jesus, help us as a church body experience the overflow of your love. Jimmy & I will only experience loved pushed to its boundaries as a community - benefitting from one another's encouragements, gifts, wisdom, prayers as expressions of Your love.

4. Let know one deceive y'all with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience (Ephesians 5:6).

Receieved individually (you): Jesus, please help me stay alert today for even the subtle lies of this world. Help me fight them off and remember they are empty promises.

Received corporately as a church (y'all): Jesus, help us as a church body fight off lies and empty promises. If one of my family members falls under deception, it could affect us all. Use me to encourage someone in the truth! Protect especially our Elders and leaders from the latest fads and false teachings.

Ephesians reminds us that Christ didn't so much die for individuals as he did for the church: "Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).

Curtain #1: Dividing mankind
from the Holy of Holies

How we went from you to y'all. By taking upon Himself the sin of the world as he died on the cross, Jesus was made unfit for His eternal community - Father, Son, Holy Spirit - "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabacthani" (Mark 15:34). His y'all was cruciformed into an alienated and isolated you. His eternal community - His forever church forsook Him. He did this to make you and I into a y'all. Remember the tearing of the temple curtain that occurred after he breathed his last (Mark 15:38)? Scholars have longed tried to figure out which curtain the gospel writers were referring to - because in the temple there were two curtains. Curtain #1: Divided the Holy of Holies from the Court of Men. This curtain kept sinners from perishing in the pure presence of a perfect God. Curtain #2: Divided the Court of Men from the Court of Women & the Court of Gentiles. It was a glorified airplane curtain dividing Coach from First Class (some of us just want to sneak a peek of what goes on in First Class). Curtain #2 symbolized that there are social divides that are not to be crossed. It is my opinion that the gospel writers are purposely vague on which curtain was torn - because they meant for their readers to consider both barriers obsolete. Through Christ's death, every dividing curtain is brought down (Ephesians 2:14). Thus, it's no longer you but y'all (you + Trinity) and it's not longer you but y'all (you + the church to which you belong).

Applying y'all to you. You are going to experience the goodness, the comfort and the encouragement of a communal God (Father, Son, HS) this Christmas Season. We can be confident of this because God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Such good is not simply meant for just you but for y'all! Who is your y'all with whom you will share blessing upon blessing? Who is your y'all with whom you will experience together the width, length, height, & depth of Christ's love?

This Advent Season, I've loved watching families of Sunrise light our church's Advent candles and lead us in a Reading. Doing it in the privacy of their home would suffice, but isn't it so much richer that they do this with community?! Equally, I can't wait to sing "Silent Night" on Christmas Eve. How much more full is the experience with a couple hundred family members letting their light shine forth! Maybe your y'all is comforting those in your church community who are lonely this Christmas or having a non-married member of your church to your home on Christmas morning for breakfast or to open stockings (what a blessing it would it be to even prepare for them their own stocking!).

Through Christ, we have a personal relationship with a Divine Community - Father, Son, Holy Spirit. It's meant to be personal, but it cannot stay individual. It's not meant to be. I'm just speaking the truth...y'all.

(If further interested: (1) Here's a ya'll version of the Bible!!; (2) Here's a respectable Brit who favors using y'all for the Bible; (3) Here's a longer article from a Southern-American theologian- contains extra nuggets of insight; (4) Here's an article on the Remarkable history of y'all) 

Forgiveness: You heard the sermon, now Sing the Song

Yesterday receiving the Word & responding in Worshipping under the big top, I had the privilege to teach on Step 4 in making relational peace between two persons. Step 4: Go & Be Reconciled (Matthew 5:23-24). My sermon in a nutshell was this: Don't miss your moment to cap-off the peacemaking process by verbally extending forgiveness.

I was searching all week for the perfect song that might complement the message and help us respond in praise and obedience to God's Word. Doh! Found it a day late. Chalk it up to God's will. Thanks to Susan Vivas who posted this song on her Facebook Page. It highlights nearly every point I wanted to make, did so through song, and did so in under 4 1/2 minutes (I know, I know: "If only Pastor Ryan had found this earlier vs. 35 minutes plus spilling Harquail pond water on the stage").

The song is "Forgiveness" by Matthew West.  Posting it here:

• It's the hardest thing to give away...help me now do the impossible. Check.
• And the last thing on your mind today. Check. One of the major reasons I showed clip of Mike Steenkamp (Reeva Steenkamp's uncle) extending forgiveness to his niece's killer (runner Oscar Pistorius). Because of the public spotlight & universal scope of the opportunity, it was easier for him not to miss his moment. But for us (and Jesus' audience in Matthew 5), the need to extend forgiveness is often the last thing on our minds and we, thus, so easily miss our moment.
• It always goes to those who don't deserve. Check. Hey, just like each of us - who are ill-deserving of Jesus' forgiveness.
• It's the opposite of how you feel. Check. Hence, replace feelings WITH ACTIONS and the story of my friend who mowed that dude's lawn even though his first inclination was to tear him a new one. Act and feelings will often follow. 
• It takes everything, you just have to say the word. Check. When Jesus talks to his disciples about the power of forgiveness that He is entrusting to them (see John 20:22-23), the application for our lives is to actually speak these particular words: "I forgive you" versus offering a "no worries" - "no big deal" - "we're cool" response.
• It'll clear the bitterness away, It can even set a prisoner free. Check. "Unforgiveness is the poison we drink hoping others will die" to quote Ken Sande formerly of Peacemakers Ministries. Letting it go frees us from the poisoning.
• Help me now to give what You gave to me. Check. Ideally forgiveness comes as a natural response or overflow from considering, meditating on, cherishing, the forgiveness Jesus extends to us through his cross. "Bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive" (Colossians 3:13).     

Awesome stuff. I've already bought the song to remind me of my need to forgive and then re-initiate forgiveness when total recall (the old grudge, desire for judgment) springs up when I least expect it. 

Living together before Marriage: Two helpful articles & a question we should all be asking

Confronting cohabitation before marriage, I'm convinced, needs to be at the forefront of any strategy for healthy marriages over the next 20 years - in every church and for every every pastor, Christian counselor, and indeed every Christian. Whether you tend to be for it or against it, it is happening at an alarming rate and isn't going away. No less here in Cayman. This scenario is all too common among ex-pats in particular: A young single professional moves here and is looking for a roommate. He/she meets another young single professional of the opposite gender - maybe they even start dating or at least engage in a 'good-natured' flirtatious friendship - WA- LA!! "Why don't we be roommates?!" Problem solved.

Here are two articles suggesting that the problems are, in fact, just beginning:

This first one is actually from a secular perspective that was featured in The New York Times in April of this year. It provides very helpful statistics and insight as to why - Jesus and the Bible aside - cohabitation before marriage carries with it tremendous risks that the persons involved sort of unconsciously slide into. I am admittedly disappointed at the author's final conclusion. She almost seems to mount her argument only to 'give in' to the prevailing tide of cohabitation at the very end. Indeed, she fails to see the logical link between her assertion that 2/3 of Americans now see cohabitation as a step toward marriage (which she uses as a positive about premarital cohabitation) and the fact that this 'step' is likely still a 'test.' She seems to ignore that it is a test which no one can ultimately pass because the commitment that bonds together and sustains mutually beneficial living for both parties (ie. marriage) is noticeably absent - see next article.

This second one is from Family Life Today. It actually includes some overlap with the NY Times article (proving that, yes, the Bible does align with experiential, modern data - we should expect it too if it is truly inspired by God and authoritative for life!). However, it also debunks the helpfulness of "the trial run" theory from a biblical perspective. 

I just want to add one thought (okay, with a couple 'sub-thoughts'):

The question every person should be asking - married, single, child, elderly, teenager, potential premarital co-habitor. It comes from an often overlooked verse in the Bible:

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterous (Hebrews 13:4).

So two things. First, you may have heard someone say: "Does the Bible actually say not to have sex before marriage? It talks about adultery but that's once you are already married." You can say "yes" and, with a spirit of gentleness and love, point to Hebrews 13:4. The author, rather intentionally it seems, includes two situations that God will judge: (1) the "adulterous" (Gk. moichos), which refers to anyone who is specifically unfaithful to his/her spouse;  (2) the "sexually immoral" (Gk. pornos), which is a much broader term referring to anyone who engages in sexual activity outside the confines of marriage between a man and a woman. Premarital cohabitation, which despite anyone's best intentions and will-power, nearly always includes sex at one point or another falls into this latter category and was probably even an example the author had in mind while writing it.

Second, Marriage is to be held honor among all (ie. not just married people). So this verse is for my 8-year-old and 5-year-old also - Katie and I try to live out our marriage (through respecting one another, serving one another, being affectionate with each other, putting each other before even them) in such a way that they have a high regard for marriage. In other words, certainly any cynical singles who publicly scoff at married couples need to deal with Hebrews 13:4. Furthermore, the way you treat the girl/guy you just started dating, the manner in which you conduct yourself with your long-time boyfriend/girlfriend, decisions that you make with your not-yet-married partner reflects not only what you think about just marriage but also, according to this verse, what you think of the God who commands us to honor this gift He's given. 

So the question all of us should be asking: Will this decision honor marriage among the people around me?

These are people who are still looking for hope, looking for a different sort of life - Does your relationship reflect that difference?

(And now may God give us the grace and discernment to take these truths and apply it lovingly to conversations with our friends or apply it to our own cohabitating lives!)

Free Audiobook for May: Resolving Everyday Conflict by Ken Sande

Are you like me: I feel something near compulsion to alert people to free stuff. Not free junk, but quality things from the land of the free and the home of "there's no catch." This month proves to be more than an easy call to alert you to christianaudio.com's free audiobook of the month - Resolving Everyday Conflict by Ken Sande.


I recommending clicking right here, taking the 30 seconds to fill in your info, and get to downloading for your listening benefit. I do so for two big ole honkin' reasons:


#1: Peacemakers Ministries and Ken Sande. I remember attending my first Peacemakers Seminar at my old church in Chicago nearly ten years ago. Since then, I've used Peacemakers materials with youth, in counseling, in helping lead frustrated people to Jesus, in my marriage, in martial counseling, in sermons, in basic conversations. It is simple, biblical, and practical. Also, conflict is just one of those things in which passions (especially the desire to get what we want) runs so high, we need some kind of concrete, firm plan we can 'cling to' in such moments lest everything else in us erupts or implodes (passive-agressive) to cause pain for ourselves and others. In other words, it's hard to trust ourselves and our instincts in such moments - we need a plan/strategy outside ourselves.


#2: If you have any relationship of depth and/or meaning, you experience, have experienced, will experience conflict. So if you have a heartbeat and have uttered "hi" or "sup, holmie" to someone today, then this audiobook will prove intensely relevant.


May God use this resource to prevent pain, heal hurts, and bring glory to Himself through your conflict.  

News Article about one of Sunrise Missionaries' to Georgetown Primary

As I've mentioned before, I really consider each of these volunteers who work weekly with at-risk students at Georgetown Primary to be missionaries in the purest since (crossing socioeconomic, cultural, even national lines to care for people practically & with the ultimate aim of caring for them with the gospel).


A prime example of that is this article written about one of these SCC missionaries!


Please visit our GT Primary Page if you are interested in finding out more or getting involved.

Hindering people because of my Annoyance

I can relate.

Upon the disciples shoo'ing away children whom they considered were pestering Jesus, Luke tells us the following:

But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them" (Luke 18:16).

As I read this verse I began to think of children approaching Jesus or any relatively benevolent authority figure, for that matter, with their problems. Children don't come with the biggest problems but they come with real problems. And, to them, such are the ones that really matter most.


A childish example. Thursday Night is typically the one night a week I don't eat dinner with my family. Last night I walked in to my youngest son, Gage, attempting to surprise me (which typically involves wearing a batman costume, eyes encased by those experimental goggles you're forced to wear for 11th grade Chemistry class, and a purple feather boa loosely affixed). He did nothing but plead his case over a dilemma: "Daddy, you're not putting us to bed, are you?" I typically put our children to bed every night (shower, brush teeth, etc.) and we have a good time. But they frankly take advantage of their mother when she performs the nightcap as it takes 3x as long and often turns into Cirque de Soleil on the bunk beds. So...yeah, they prefer that. So I assured Gage that, yes, Mommy was putting them to bed. But my mere presence on the scene, just minutes before bedtime, still disconcerted him: "Daddy, you're not supposed to put us to bed tonight." Seriously, even though I agreed with his statement, it took 8-10 times to convince him of this minor dilemma. But, for him, this problem was an obstacle to life itself.


The Annoyance. Are you like me: Ever just get worn down by others' seemingly minute problems and complaints? The couple that really shouldn't be together -- the woman knows it, the guy has latched onto her -- but she keeps lapsing back into the relationship and asks for prayer for setting up boundaries ("I don't want to not be around him. But needs to be limited."). Someone who asks God (and you) to pray they'd get more time to spend time with God or more time for church, yet has packed their schedule with stuff that entertains them. Or what about the couple who asks for prayer for more time together yet are never willing to leave their kids alone (you know, with like a babysitter). Okay, that's probably enough...you can sense my annoyance plenty.


The conviction.  (I speak the following not really as a pastor but as a Christian and brother-in-Christ). But if and when I convey half-hearted interest, if and when my prayers begin to wane for that person, and if and when I fail to hold out the same vibrant hope in the gospel of grace as I would to a seeking non-Christian, am I not hindering children from God's throne?  Avoiding such people in possible moments of encouragement or avoiding them by leaving off their names and concerns before the throne of God, seems to highlight a heart that's...well...okay with hindering -- because while such problems may not be the most important, to the person affected, they are very real. 


After all, my problems may be trite and annoying to someone else, but I hope they bring them before "the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

A Sunday Follow-up: What's your idol?

This morning we continued our series in the Book of Malachi -- as I was privileged to preach on Malachi 2:10-12: Why can't we all just get along? The brilliant insight from this passage is that conflict arises less from what we do while we're together, but more from what we worship while we're apart.

We often bring into relationships, confrontations, discussions a silent partner, which are secret idols, that no one else realizes is radically influencing what we're saying & doing.

We need to identify & admit both real and potential idols if we hope to overcome them both with a holy love and through the cross. I promised this morning I'd post here an insightful list of possible idols as printed in Tim Keller's Gospel in Life Small Group Workbook (Tim Keller is so insightful when it comes to idols & their potential influence in our lives). So without further ado... enjoy (?????)

• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I have power and influence over others." (Power idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I am loved and respected by ________." (Approval idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I have this kind of pleasure experience, a particular quality of life." (Comfort idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I am able to get mastery over my life in the area of ________." (Control idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...people are dependent on me and need me." (Helping idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...someone is there to protect me and keep me safe." (Dependence idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I am completely free from obligations or responsibilities to take care of someone." (Independence idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I am highly productive and getting a lot done." (Work idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I a being recognized for my accomplishments, and I am excelling in my work." (Achievement idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I have a certain level of wealth, financial freedom, and very nice possessions." (Materialism idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I am adhering to my religion's moral codes and accomplished in its activities." (Religion idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...this one person in my life and happy to be there, and/or happy with me." (Individual Person idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I feel totally independent of organized religion and am living by a self-made morality." (Irreligion idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...my race and culture is ascendant and recognized as superior." (Racial/cultural idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...a particular social grouping or professional grouping or other group lets me in." (Inner ring idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...my children and/or my parents are happy and happy with me." (Family idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...Mr. or Ms. 'Right' is in love with me" (Relationship idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I am hurting, in a problem; only then do I feel worthy of love or able to deal with guilt." (Suffering idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...my political or social cause is making progress and ascending in influence or power." (Ideology idolatry)
• "Life only has meaning/I only have worth if...I have a particular kind of look or body image." (Image idolatry)

Velvet Steel: The Best kind of Love on Valentine's Week

In a poem, Pastor John Piper once described his wife as: Velvet Steel. What a great description of a faithfully loving spouse, friend, or brother-sister in Christ.

I ran across the same description of a character in one of my favorite books - The Hammer of God by Bo Giertz. The protagonist, Savonius, is struggling with the idea of faith alone in Jesus for salvation. God sends an older, fellow pastor his way.

Now God had sent him another helper. But the help was the same. He felt as if he had stumbled against something eternal and unmovable, something at the innermost corse of existence, something that was at the same time hard as a rock and soft to the touch as the gentle hand of a mother.

YES! Immovable like a rock (faithful, true, honest...even brutally honest) yet a soft exterior like the hand of one's mother (patient, kind, for you, willing to sacrifice for your good).

Aren't these the kind of persons for whom you're most grateful in Your life? I can't help but think it's because they best model the "Velvet Steel" love of our Heavenly Father.

The 'Shadow Side' of Relationships & Community (Part I)

Accompanying every good & perfect gift that God gives, there is what I like to call its 'shadow side.' The 'shadow side' is the always lurking, always potentially nasty face of the good gift that Satan & our sin nature like to use to pervert or twist for the purpose of evil.

So for instance, in my case, the gift of teaching/preaching has before been perverted by my sin nature & the Enemy for self-glorifying & prideful purposes in my heart. A more obvious example is the internet -- through which churches & Christian organizations are reaching millions with the gospel, through which we can more easily give both financially & with other resources, and by which we can keep in touch with friends & loved ones. But it's 'shadow side' is quicker access to things to which we are prone to being addicted -- wasting time in chat rooms/gaming, gossip, and of course pornography.

Relationships & Community are no different. At Sunrise, we've been stressing, preaching, highlighting community over the past few months in our church with the advent of a major Community Group launch--and, to say the least, the Lord has been so gracious in using these groups to draw us closer to one another and to Him!

However, there is a shadow side to surrounding oneself with people.

This truth is vividly portrayed by the Old Testament prophet Jeremiah -- who himself experienced very little community and so had time on his hands to carefully observe how the sin nature/Satan could pervert it. God used these observations and spoke to & through the prophet about it.

5 Thus says the LORD:

Cursed is the man who trusts in man

and makes flesh his strength,

whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6 He is like a shrub in the desert,

and shall not see any good come

He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,

in an uninhabited salt land.

- Jeremiah 17: 5-6

Now hang on, there is a medicating & healing balm to come. But let's not miss Jeremiah's point. Namely -- you can surround yourself with people and, yet, be incredibly isolated. The phrase "He is like a shrub in the desert" should stand out -- as these are two contrasting images. Here's a guy who thinks he's doing okay, I've grown myself into a well-watered little shrub, & surrounded myself with other shrubs who can help me...oh wait (and here comes the irony) there's nobody here! It's desert. "Wilderness" in Hebrew thought always denotes isolation (as opposed to images of Tarzan, vines, savages with spears & gorillas in the mist like we might think of when considering 'wilderness'). The sad irony here is that the person Jeremiah is describing thinks he has surrounded himself with other plants, foliage, and the like -- indeed, he has 'trusted' and built his life around this supposed reality. But it is not reality. The community is really a mirage

Ask yourself, even at age 25, 30, 40, when you sit down to eat lunch in an office cafeteria or you contemplate going to a movie/social event, do you make sure you have always have a wingman or wing-woman? Would it still make you uncomfortable (though maybe not 6th-grade-uncomfortable) to sit or do things by yourself? Have you ever experienced this before? I sure have. I would surround myself with people, yet feel lonely and the Lord proceeded to 'cure' that loneliness by taking away people. "Lord, I don't want to tell you how to do things as you've done a pretty nice job stewarding the universe," I would say, "but this seems counterproductive." But it is exactly how the Spirit usually goes about shifting our trust in others (and usually what they can do for us) to Him.

God could be giving you the gift of loneliness. Do I mean that God's ultimate goal is for you to feel lonely? Not at all, only that He, even as you relate to many different persons, might temporarily cause you to feel lonely so that wouldn't begin to or wouldn't continue to trust in man. Which is all to easy to do, right? People at the church are so kind to me, people in my Community Group now open up to me and I to them -- "Finally," we often conclude, "I have found what I'm looking for...for what will satisfy my needs." It's true that we are created for community with our fellow man. But we are primarily created for Community with God and such community is, alone, all-satisfying. Hence the Lord going on to say to & through Jeremiah:

7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,

whose trust is the LORD

8 He is like a tree planted by the water,

that sends out its roots by the stream,

and does not fear when the heat comes,

for its leaves remain green,

and is not anxious in the year of drought,

for it does not cease to bear fruit.

- Jeremiah 17: 7-8

God gave Jeremiah the gift of loneliness so that his trust might be forged & shaped into an unwavering fidelity to His God & Savior. This gift often seemed like a curse to Jeremiah. His messages were not well-received (7:1-8:3; 26:1-11), he endured a great deal of persecution for speaking up as God asked him (20: 1-6; 37: 11-38; 43: 1-7). He had only two people we know of who responded well to his message -- one being his own scribe, Baruch (who some might argue 'had' to buy into it since, well, he worked for the guy). And, at God's command, he never married (16: 1-4). But for Jeremiah to surround himself with others in trust & vulnerability would have been disasterous, as he lived amongst persons who weren't exactly going to encourage him in his walk with God.

Responding like a Tree. Here's the point, in the midst of this loneliness, Jeremiah started to trust and live like a tree planted by the water. Even while alone, when persecution, mocking, and (worse) those inner lies & discouragements came his way, he simply went to God and God alone with his prayer & with his pain.

Soon after God speaks the above words to Jeremiah, he has a rabble of people say "Let's get together for a few days and just make plots against this dude." Can you imagine people getting together for the expressed purpose of plotting against you? My natural tendency would be to either (a) Move; (b) Break out the Rolodex and Start forming my own alliance. Jeremiah's first response: "Hear me, O LORD, and listen to the voice of my adversaries" (Jeremiah 18:19). He doesn't mince words or speaking kindly of these people in his prayer, but the key is that he goes to God first with his complaint because his "trust is the LORD" (17:7)

Next up, the head overseer of temple supplies & activities (like the church's activities n' fun coordinator), steps up to persecute Jeremiah. He has him beaten and put in stocks (basically, publicly humiliates him). Jeremiah's response is, again, very genuine & real with God -- but the key is He goes immediately to the Lord, his trust.

O Lord, you have deceived me,

and I was deceived;

you are stronger than I,

and you have prevailed.

I have become a laughingstock all the day;

everyone mocks me.

- Jeremiah 20:7

Are you lonely right now? Nobody seems to care or show interest. Are you lonely -- even while you've surrounded yourself with many friends, co-workers, acquaintances? Perhaps You might be helped this new perspective from Jeremiah -- that God is giving you this loneliness as a temporary gift that might spur you on to make Yahweh your trust & that He might fashion you into a well-watered tree whose roots are sent out by the stream. If you think this might be the case, I implore you to stop reading and, like Jeremiah, go immediately to the Source of Living Water with your prayer &, yes, even your complaint.

---In my next post (Part II), I just want to touch on: (a) Why it is that we can feel lonely with people surrounding us and (b) how we might consider striking a healthy & God-honoring balance between an unyielding trust in God & learning to trust our brothers & sisters in Christ.---